Gamer Trolls

I just love the internet.  What is it that possesses you?  No, not you, that guy.  Yeah, you, the troll.  Why do you do the things you do?  Look, I'm not innocent by any means.  I have moments where I'll just go poking around the internet looking for some trivial, mundane comment on some nonsensical post and create just the perfect environment for an internet fight.  It's cold, it's calculated, and most of all, it's in good fun (which I'm typically quick to point out in my initial comment.)  But you!  You rapscallion.  What is your main malfunction?

I'll set the scene:

I shared this link on Google+ a month ago because I thought it was hilarious.  The vocals in this thing... oh my god they're amazing.  It sounds quite professional and high end in general, but for something this silly? It just blew me away, so I had to share it of course.

Here's the video from the post and the comment I posted with it when I sent it out:

Alright, hilarious song and montage... but come off the campers. There are various play styles and techniques in CoD. You all bitch so much about the guy in the corner. How about the guy jumping, spinning round, and one-shot-killing you? That's 'the right way'? These are war games. War is strategic. Sometimes strategic is campy. Frankly, the best tactic I've found in any of these games is a mixture of rushing and camping. Get to a choke point, find cover, clear it out, move to the next point, find cover, clear it out, etc. I just love hearing the guy that's head-glitching in an untouchable spot bitch about the 'camper' that got more kills. Stop bitching and play the fucking game... or don't, even better.

So give that a watch and a read and then come on back down here for the rest of this rant.

So, just moments ago, this being a solid month after I shared that little gem, I get a notification that someone has commented.  Now, like I said, I troll for fun but try to keep it all in good fun, you know?  I'm not looking to illicit genuine arguments or controversy (unless that troll Trump or that slag Clinton make it into the White House, then I'm going to be trolling hard for the next four years, but that's another story for another day,) I'm just goofing off, genuinely hoping someone catches it and engages a decent retort.  Then enter this guy.  This was a public share, so, I feel no shame in sharing the screenshot below.

"They see me trollin'"

Now, for full disclosure, his is the first comment on this post.  It's never seen so much as a +1 before tonight.  A virgin post, if you will.  Enter Mr. Gordon.  Now, I don't know this gentleman in any way - he's not even in my circles and I have Christ knows how many people circled on G+.  I don't know if he added me a while back or just happened to somehow sniff out this post about a game he doesn't care for (this stale, month old post, remember? That's been shown no love?) but regardless, here we are.

Let's break it down.  His comment - CoD's an arcade game, not a wargame. Now Battlefield, that's a wargame - paraphrasing here.  Okay?  So what's your point?  Did my post, that you worked awfully hard to find, upset you that much?  Even it was one of those comments I mentioned earlier; a slight troll meant to be funny and thought provoking - not rage inducing.  Anyway, I giggled a bit, wrote my response explaining just why CoD is indeed a wargame (and again, this was meant less as a troll and more of an explanation as to why it is indeed a wargame - note the childish vernacular at the end saying not to look 'silly' on the internet.  If I was trolling, I would have simply called them an asshat or monkeynuts.  You know, real "fightin' words'" .  It's also why I made the (blah) comment before Battlefield - you poked fun at my past time so I poked fun at yours.  We're even, right?  Well, he didn't think so.  Here's the next shot fired (and last so far, from the Battlefield camp, thankfully.)

"They hatin'"

Okay, did I really upset you that much?  I always pick on Battlefield players (and Medal of Honor players,) not because they are less of gamers than I but because I don't care for those games.  I've played them, plenty really.  They are enjoyable to a point, just not my preference.  Maybe if I had started with a Battlefield game or a Medal game?  But anyway, again, did I REALLY upset you that much?

So, I said:

And before anyone says it - yes, snip should be snipe.  I was tired.  I was cranky.  I needed a Snickers myself but alas, didn't have one.  I went to bed.  Now I'm back up to polish this rant off and get it out to you all for your insight.  But as you can see, if you really break down my response, even then I was still trying to be a bit lighthearted about it.  Seriously people.  Moral of my story is, if you're gonna troll, be funny, not an asshat.  Eat a Snickers, take a nap, then come back and have something funny to add to a situation.  Don't troll just for the sake of shitting in someone's Cheerios.  And no, I am sponsored by neither Snickers or Cheerios - just in case there's a troll in the audience - You can't feed those fuckers.